Flighty.
All over the place.
ADD?
ADHD?
Wishy washy.
Bored.
Y'all - in some ways I am a hot mess. These words above really and truly can be used to describe how I am with any hobby. I'm now a jack of all trades - I know a little about a lot, but I definitely don't know a lot about anything.
Humph.
This is not what I want to be and yet, here we are.
It's a running joke with my husband when we reunite each evening for dinner that he will ask me which business idea I came up with that day. He giggles when I tell him about my new interests or hobbies. He knows now. Nothing holds my interest for long and soon enough, I've spent a bunch of money on something that just sits in our "dump" room with the rest of my old hobby stuff.
It's truly a problem. I don't know why I cannot just stick with one or two things, but I struggle. Some interests last longer than others, like my desire to work out, and some are a day or two and I forget about it and move on to another. I can truly be so interested in something and focused for a second, and BOOM. I'm out and something else is in.
I think my husband's most exasperated moment came quite recently, when I decided that I was going to become a tattoo artist (I have ZERO art skills or experience). I think he's officially done with my shenanigans.
As you may have read in previous posts, I am interested in Ayurveda and Ayurvedic living. I have definitely dug deeper with this interest and have enjoyed it. In my journey with this new practice, I learned that my personality and primary dosha is Vata - someone who is spacey and flighty. I have no issues settling down and happily choosing a job or a life partner (wait - I am on husband number two, so there's something to think about, ha). I have issues settling with everything else. It makes sense. It's clearly part of my cloth.
It's in my genes I think. My parents moved us to SEVEN different houses in the SAME town while I was growing up out of nothing but sheer boredom with the house we were in at the time. I think about this a lot actually, because I am ALWAYS itching to get another house! Yeeeesh. I've got the ants in my pants, for reals.
So - as part of my desire to grow and better myself and be a decent human, I have decided in the past week to COMMIT TO COMMIT!
Even just deciding this alone was quite refreshing and I am proud of myself for even thinking of trying this.
I have chosen two different hobbies/interests to commit to, one of which I will lay out here and one of which will come at another time, as I'm not ready to share it.
Ayurveda.
I love it. It makes beautiful sense to me. I could feel myself slipping from it, as I normally do, but NO DAMMIT! I want to fully immerse in this. The problem being that books and weekend, very basic, workshops just don't cut it. I'm too voracious. There really only seemed to be one other option, which is to go to Kerala in India to truly study Ayurveda at it's source for 8-12 weeks. Yeah - nice thought. Kids and life and a house and a husband sort of stopped that dream real quick.
It's why it was slipping - it wasn't easy. That's a key point for me. If it's becomes hard or seems impossible, I'm out. Which I DESPISE about myself, but here we are.
I feel SO lucky that right when I was deciding to commit to commit to Ayurveda, I received an email from an Ayurvedic coach that I had been following on Instagram that offered an 8-week in-depth course with personalized consultation for a VERY reasonable price. I felt like it was fate almost. I signed right up and I'm starting week 2 right now.
Already, this feels like EXACTLY what I was looking for. I just finished a 1 hour consultation with my coach and she was not only incredibly kind and fun, but super informative and motivating. I haven't felt that kind of support for so long - I usually am the one trying to motivate others with my practice. This was a very fun switch.
I'm going to write them here, because I know I need accountability. My goals over the next 7 weeks, are to :
Slowly eliminate coffee (I love it SO much, but it's not good for me and I feel it daily)
Slowly eliminate dairy (see above)
Increase my water
Drink more herbal tea
Make myself more grounding meals
I can do that! I am truly encouraged to continue on this journey and continue to commit to committing to something I REALLY truly enjoy and feel really proud of myself for choosing to move one step further down the path, when I'd normally turn 180 and start a new path.
This won't be easy for me. It's the exact opposite of what I like to do - deny myself and focus. So hard for me and I'm sure I'm not alone.
Commiserate with me here - are there any parts of your personality that you know aren't yielding you joy and you want to change?
Thanks for reading this long frickin' blog on a whole bunch of hot air (pure vata, ha!)
Comment below on what your goals are for yourself.
Love to you all.